Merlin's smile
by TheMagnaka
Summary: Arthur misunderstand situation and there is serious consequense, T for sure, whump and angst
1. Chapter 1

_Thanks to my beta TheJunebut1218_

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><p><strong>Merlin's smile<strong>

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><p><em>This is wrong. Absolutely, the totally wrong thing to do.<em>

Arthur looked at the pyre and a cold shiver passed through him.

_She was just a healer. Magic, yes, but a healer. Only a healer. She hadn't done anything wrong in her life._

He looked his father who stood in the wall, watching how the witch was burning. Arthur couldn't stand there, beside him, when he felt that his father was doing wrong thing. He stood in the window of his room.

Arthur looked the sea of faces. All of them were quiet.

_How many of these people know her? How many people out there she must have healed and saved? _

There was Merlin, in the archway's entrance, leaning in the wall.

And Merlin was smiling. He really was smiling. He was smiling when he watched how the innocent woman was burned. And then he covered his mouth and laughed.

_Merlin?_

Arthur was running before he even noticed what he was doing. He had to see it. See, was that it was really Merlin. His Merlin? His innocent helpless careless Merlin who never ever harm even the fly.

Arthur found the way in the archway and slowed his speed.

Then he stopped.

_Merlin? How…? No…_

But it was Merlin. Arthur looked the back. He was able to recognize those ears anywhere.

Arthur opened his mouth, but he couldn't say anything in some time. But then..

_I have to know…_

"How you can smile Merlin?"

He looked how Merlin froze and then slowly lifted himself off the wall and straightened. But he didn't turned to face Arthur. His right hand fussed nervously in his jacked lapel.

"I want to know what is so funny when innocent people are executed. Tell me that I can smile too, because right now I really can't feel like I could smile for anything."

"Arthur." Merlin's voice surprised Arthur. It was full of sadness.

"Merlin, look at me and tell me. " Arthur commanded.

But Merlin didn't turn.

"I thought that I knew you. You are a kind, a caring man. You have saved me, Camelot, my father many times. Sometimes you speak like a old wise man. But when I saw you smiling and… laughing… when there was people crying over their loss… What I supposed to think of you?"

But still he refused to look Arthur.

"Merlin, please, tell me." Arthur begged.

The hand stopped to fuss.

"I.. can't, sire." Merlin's voice was a whisper.

"Then get out of here. I don't want to see you, if you can't answer my question."

Arthur's furry rose again. He grasped his hands in fist. " Go, now."

Merlin shivered all over. He didn't turn to say anything anymore. He just walked away. Disappearing to the crowd. Arthur shut his eyes.

_How I ever could said that he was my friend?_

_()_

Night was falling.

There was some people in the pyre. Arthur looked them. Relatives maybe?

Then he recognized Sir Leon who oversaw them. He said something to the other knight and turned to look over the place. He saw the Prince and started to walk his way.

"Sire, there is something what I want you to know." Sir Leon said. He looked more serious than ever.

"What is it?"

"We didn't find it."

"Find what?"

"The corpse, sire. The witch's corpse."

"What?"

"There was no corpse in the ash. No any sign that there has been any person in the pyre. There is always something. When relatives come to find something to bury, there is always something. And that woman, there should be his necklace that she wore. But there is absolutely nothing."

Arthur stood still. And he remembered Merlin's happy smile.

"That idiot."


	2. Chapter 2

"Where is that idiot ward of yours?" Arthur yelled before he even properly opened the door to court physician's chambers.

"Excuse me sire?" Gaius looked puzzled standing middle on his chamber. Arthur took a deep breath and calmed himself.

"Merlin, where is he?"

"Not here, sire. Last time I saw him he was heading out of the town."

_Out of town? Shit._

"When?"

"Couple hours ago." Gaius narrowed his eyes.

_I'm too late!_

"Did he say where he was heading?" Arthur started to sound desperate.

"No. I assumed that he was going to your errands."

Arthur swayed in his feet, and looked like he didn't knew what to do. He looked so confused that Gaius started to worrying. He walked to Arthur and grip his arm.

"Sire, I think you have better to sit down sire. And tell me, what it going on." He leaded the prince to the chair.

"I… I don't…" Arthur stammered. He looked Gaius.

_Did he know? Did he know about Merlin? And, what if I'm wrong? What then?_

"You are really upset. Did Merlin do something?"

Arthur suddenly spurt laugh. It however sounded tense and hysterical.

"When he did not do something? Really, Merlin, I think he really did do something so ridiculous and brave, and I… I judged him wrong. I, I didn't realize that.. I didn't _know _that he can… God I'm stupid. I'm so stupid that I didn't _trust _him. And now he is gone… I said him that I didn't want to see him anymore. "

Gaius grabbed in his both hands Arthur's shoulders.

"Arthur, get a hold of yourself and tell me everything."

And Arthur told him. When he finished Gaius departed him.

"That fool boy."

"You know, don't you? You know that he has magic."

"Yes."

_Of course._

"Why did he keep it to himself?"

"Because I said that he have to keep it in secret, even from you. Then, everything went so complicated that it was just better to be quiet. For now. He decided that it was safer that you don't know." Gaius sounded apologetic.

"So, where did he go now? Did he take anything with him?"

"No, no I don't think so. I have to check." Gaius headed to Merlin's chamber. Arthur just sat. He felt himself empty, like all his power was poured out.

_Where the hell are you Merlin? I want to say that I 'm sorry. That I didn't really know you at all. And it hurts me. I think that I understand, but…_

Voice of Gaius cut off his though.

"He didn't take anything aboard. Not even his cloak."

Arthur looked him showing not to get the idea.

"Merlin said that there was going to rain tonight and he prepared to leave, but he didn't take anything with him." Gaius explained. Slowly Arthur rouse.

"The execution was in midday, hours ago. And he leaved couple of hours ago? In hurry? "

_Maybe… maybe he didn't leave because of me._

"He really left in a great hurry sire."

"But he didn't say why he had to leave?"

"No, he didn't. To me, everything looked normal. There was no hint even that you had said something to him."

"I have a bad feeling about this."


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur run in the stable and saw that there was one horse ready to go.

"Sir Galloway, I have to borrow you horse."

"Sire?" Sir Galloway looked stunned how the prince took his horse and rose onto the saddle.

"You can take mine. But I need to go now."

Before Sir Galloway find time to said anything the prince was gone.

"But all my belongings are in the saddlebags." He said for no one.

()

It started to rain. And it was getting dark. Arthur followed the main road.

_Where in the hell you go? And why?_

He stopped in the crossroad looking some marks. He was, after all, good hunter and experienced to track. So he turned in right.

Half hour later he heard something what got him departed on the road, following now the narrow path.

He heard it again. It was women's shrill cry.

And there was light. And a sound of thunder.

_Merlin._

More voices.

More screaming.

Yelling.

And Arthur was there, in the small clearing.

And there was Merlin.

He just stood there and didn't turn his gaze off the man who stood other side of clearing and holding a women in his grasp.

"Don't come near me!" the man screamed and tightened his grip on the women.

Arthur dropped on the ground. He now recognized the healer. She looked well, there was no burning marks anywhere on her.

Quick look in the area and Arthur saw four other bodies on the ground and Arthur figured that Merlin had handled them before. But now there was a hostage.

Arthur drew his sword and stepped to Merlin's side.

"Stop Arthur. He is sorcerer. You can't do anything for him." Merlin's voice was strange calm. Arthur stopped.

"Why you are here?" Merlin asked.

"I was worried."

"Worried?"

"Yes, worried, Gaius said that you…"

"Lord Emrys!" The healer yelled in panic.

_Lord Emrys? _Arthur was confused.

"Let her go!" Merlin commanded and his voice was full of power. Arthur withdrew instinctively. That voice belonged to the man who knew that no one can stand before him. It reminded Arthur from his father when he really was mad at someone.

"So you are Emrys." the sorcerer smiled and he released the healer who started run

to Merlin.

"Sometimes you really are idiot. You shouldn't be here." Merlin spoke to Arthur but didn't straw his gaze away from the sorcerer.

"I can see that now Merlin."

"You are in danger. Get Mary and go. I'll handle this."

Arthur grabbed the healer with him and hoisted her in the saddle, giving her the reins.

"Go, ride, and don't turn back."

"My lord?"

"Go!"

And the women left. Arthur returned to Merlin's side.

"Why you are still here Arthur?"

"I can't leave you in here alone, whatever you say."

And finally, Merlin looked him, and then, smiled.

"I know."

Before they could said anything more, the sorcerer interrupt them again.

"Emrys!"

Merlin looked his way and realized his mistake. He was looked away and that was enough to other sorcerer. Arhur saw how the sorcerer said something and pointed Merlin. Merlin rapidly collected his magic and set it free, using his instinct.

It felt like time stopped moving. Arthur saw how the Merlin's magic take effect to the other. The man rammed backward and collapsed on the ground. But because Merlin had to sheltered Arthur he didn't catch time to protect himself.

"No!" Arthur screamed when he saw how the bolt hit right in Merlin's chest. Arthur stepped forward to catch Merlin in his arms. They both hit to the floor.

"Merlin? Merlin, say something. Merlin!"

He tried to feel the pulse, but there was nothing. There was only big burned area in Merlin's chest.

"Oh god Merlin, wake up, wake up Merlin." Arthur begged and looked the man in his lap. "Don't do this to me Merlin. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't understand. I'm sorry that I came here. It's my fault. So please, wake up, say that you forgive me. Merlin, please, wake up!" And his tears mixed with the rain.

And there was where Gaius and knight found them.

Arthur holding Merlin and whispering his apologies to Merlin who didn't move.


	4. Chapter 4

Again. The pyre. There was man burning in the pyre.

"_Merlin! Please wake up! I'm sorry, so please, wake up. Please, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."_

"_Sire, you have to take me to look him. Sire, let him go, please."_

"_Gaius? He's dead. It's my fault. Merlin is dead." _

"_Sire, let me see him."_

"_I didn't understand and now he's dead!"_

"_Sir Leon, get the prince."_

"_No!"_

Arthur looked away from the pyre. His eyes wandered over to the archway's entrance.

There was no one.

He sighed.

He looked at the pyre and the screaming man. Then he turned away. He didn't want to see this, over and over again. Men and women burning again and again. There must be other way to deal this.

"_There is nothing that I can do. I'm sorry Arthur."_

"_Nononono…" Arthur crumpled in his knees. _

_He looked Merlin's lifeless body._

"_There must be something. Must be…"_

"_Sire, we have to go. We are all tired and soaked. And there is nothing what we can do." Leon said and nodded others who grabbed Merlin to hoisting him up._

"_Don't touch him!"_

"_Sire!"_

_Arthur get his leg's to run over Merlin and looked the boy._

"_If there is something that I can do. Something in my power to do… Someone, save him."_

_And the prince cried over his friend._

The corridors were empty.

Arthur headed up in the ramparts.

In the highest place in Camelot.

"_You really should stop crying Arthur. For God sake, you are the prince."_

_The voice was weak, but it's tone was familiar mocking. Arthur opened his eyes and looked Merlin at shock. _

"_You live? You are alive?"_

"_I think so. But it hurt like hell." Merlin closed his eyes again._

"_How? How this is…"_

_Then there was Gaius, and Leon who dragged him away again, and this time Arthur followed him willingly._

Merlin stood near the border, looking down the castle yard.

_Some days miracles happens._

Arthur walked beside his friend.

"Ready yet?"

"Yes, he is safe now." Merlin replied.

"Good."

They looked how the empty pyre burned.

"I was thinking…"

"Never good idea." Merlin stated.

"Shut up _Mer_lin and listen. I was thinking that there must be other way. Not this what you do. Something more."

"There is, and you know what it is. But now…" Merlin's words stayed hanging in the air.

Arthur nodded.

"When I'm the king this all will change."

And Merlin looked at him and smiled.

_**THE END**_


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